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Nov. 3rd, 2007

I hate you

I hope you die, slowly and painfully.  If anyone should be flayed and slowly cannabalised by an orgy of AIDS infected felons without the benefit of immediate death, it should be you.  I hope that everything and everyone you love betrays and rejects you.  You're nothing but a useless scrap of human refuse that will never amount to anything and I hope you know it b/c everyone else does.  If you have a soul, I hope it rots in hell for all eternity.  I would love nothing more than to see you suffer and writhe for the rest of your miserable, pathetic life.  Your continued existence is nothing but a deliberate waste of resources and an anathema to those around you.  I hope you never experience anything that resembles happiness.  I hope that the only thing that you can ever hope to understand is anger and pain in every mental, emotional, and physical form that your feeble little mind can comprehend.  You can be sure that when you finally expire, not only will no one mourn but everyone will rejoice b/c that's how universally repugnant you truly are.  

Sep. 20th, 2007

Really Big Belts

It's one fashion trend I have never been able to get into.  It reminds me too much of cowboy/ country western enthusiasts w/ shiny belt buckles the size of Texas.  I totally understand the appeal of creating the illusion of a waist but at the same time, I could just wear a girdle, skip that slice of cheesecake, and/or do a few extra crunches. 

I just can't justify wearing a belt when there's nothing to hold up and no belt loops for it to go into.  Of course it looks good when someone is standing still and posing for the camera but can you imagine what a pain it would be if you actually had to move around?  

Jul. 9th, 2007

Ally McBeal was a horrible show

in terms of the lawyering, which is strange considering that David Shore (creator) was a former lawyer.  Glad he's doing a much better job on House MD though.

Anyway, the point of this long overdue post is . . .  the more I watch this show, the more I'm convinced Lucy Liu's character, Ling Woo, proclaimed "Dragon Lady" of angry Asian American femnazis everywhere, is really just an Asian Samantha Jones.  And I sort of love that. 

Ling kicked so much fucking ass.  She's a crazy psycho bitch who SUED GOD on behalf of a terminally ill child, owned a female mud wrestling joint as a tax write-off, and got hired for licking a finger.  And then there's Ling channeling Confucius:

It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.

I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!

Ling was smart, ballsy, and wasn't afraid to tell it like it was and as opposed to her white counterparts, even though she had moments of non-bitchiness, she was a LOT less whiny and unstable. 

Ling Woo and Margaret Cho are my Asian American entertainment saints.

Jun. 21st, 2007

This is absolutely unacceptable

You think the Chinese were unscrupulous when they put filler in dog food and cheaper ingredients in children's medicine and toothpaste?  Apparently, nothing is sacred in China:


By the way, Anhui is one of the poorest regions of China.  Aside from the fact that there is obviously censorship in the Chinese media, whether government-mandated or self-imposed, I would assume the sheer poverty and desolation contributes to the fact that no one really cares. 

Every time I heard another report about some act of egregious counterfeiting - birth control pills, pet food, eggs, soy sauce, etc. - I pray that it's not from my family's corner of China but in the end, it doesn't matter because I can't get over the fact that people would not only be so heartless but to be so stupid as to assume that somewhere down the line that no one would die/get sick and that it wouldn't be traced back to them.

Jun. 14th, 2007

In preparation of the graduations I have to attend this weekend

I just got my pedicure!  God that feels good.

ATTN: Scientologists and other religious canvassers


Yesterday, a really creepy "big brother"-type came over to my parents' store and tried to chat up my mom.  He didn't even have the decency to buy something first.

Let me make this clear:

Stop coming into our store and trying to talk to us.  We let you put your leaflets, CDs, newsletters, etc. outside of our store even though people leave them around INSIDE our store, which we have to clean up.  We have to put up w/ you guys scaring away our customers RIGHT IN FRONT of our store and we have not said anything.  We've been really fucking patient w/ this shit. 

I'm not trying to single out Scientologists as I really hate religious canvassers of all colours and creeds but you guys are the fucking worst.  We don't go into your Dianetics Center and try to sell shit to you.  We don't set up a kiosk full of tchotchkes in front of your place.  We just want the same respect we give you.  You may want something to do with us but we've made it clear (and allowing you to save face as neither of my parents have directly asked any of you to leave) that we want NOTHING to do with you.  We don't care how you conduct your business but we'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't hinder ours.

I hope this clears up everything and that we can maintain cordial relations.

Jun. 11th, 2007

Words I taught my boyfriend this weekend

tenement - noun
1.Also called tenement house. a run-down and often overcrowded apartment house, esp. in a poor section of a large city.
"Fine, move to Oakland but I'm not coming to live with you in some decrepit tenement!"


rote - noun
1.routine; a fixed, habitual, or mechanical course of procedure
2.by rote, from memory, without thought of the meaning; in a mechanical way

"By the time you're 23, sex just comes by rote.  Life leaves no space for meaningful sex and soon, you just go through the motions so the other person doesn't feel bad.

perfunctory - –adjective
1.performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial
2.lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent or apathetic

"Dealing with your white collar drug dealer friends on a weekly basis has become perfunctory."

pejorative - –adjective
1.having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force

"No, calling me 'stupid' is not even slightly pejorative" *sarcasm*

This vocabulary lesson has been brought to you by our weekly fight in which I throw big words at Puddle and he tries to understand them.  We did make up afterwards but I thought it'd make an interesting blog post.  No, I'm not a snob - I really do talk like that.

Definitions courtesy of www.dictionary.com

Jun. 8th, 2007

I am wearing new jeans today

Guys do not know how good they have it.  At least your jeans are not fucking arbitrarily sized to make your fat ass feel better about yourself.

I'm wearing a new pair of medium wash, boot cut, Levi 515s in short length.  Overall, they fit well - the thighs/calves, crotch, bum BUT it's a problem when I get to the waist and it's a problem with ALL the jeans I buy in the US.  I have a size 6 ass and a size 4 waistline.  It's like the the industry is punishing me for having curves - REAL fucking curves, not Lane Bryant fat rolls.

The too big waistline drags down so the butt doesn't fit as well and the back of the hem might get ragged (I fucking hate people that don't hem their jeans/wear too long jeans) but I'm too cheap to get cheap jeans altered.

But it is breakfast time now and I'm gonna go eat my two slices of bacon and egg over hard.

Jun. 7th, 2007

Any websites that show what tier law schools fall in?

I have a B.A. in politics and I was a piss-poor student.  I'm taking my sweet time and seeing if I want to get into law (currently working as a legal assistant).  I have this year's Barron's Guide to Law Schools but how does "tiering" work?  I know that even w/ my shit GPA, I don't want to go to a school that's  not ABA certified so please help anyone!

Thank you in advance!

The LSAT is slowly eating my soul

Who wants to be my study buddy?  I want to get into UC Hastings and while I'm relatively "smart," my study habits still leave me wondering how I graduated from university.  My GPA was shit and I pretty much have no related internships or extracurriculars.  It's ALL riding on the LSAT and possibly my job which I while I don't truly suck at, I'm just extremely lazy. 

Plz hep me!

In other news, I had a mocha latte made with coconut milk today and it was DIVINE.  Too bad it was an entire can of coconut milk and I basically drank 1.5x my daily recommended intake of fat.  Whatever, I drink whole milk anyway. 

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